Conflict of Emotions
by SnowTigerFairytale
Summary: Emma tries to get a grip with her emotions. Caught between family loyalty and her own deeper emotions. Who will win her heart and succeed in breaking her walls. SwanThief to start with but will be a Captain Swan story. Tons of romance and some drama.
1. Starting Over

**Chapter 1 - Starting Over**

"Are you and my dad getting back together?" Henry asked, curious. Emma looked at her son and sighed. His eyes twinkled in hope and Emma wished they didn't. That hope broke her heart as it sent the nail driving into her coffin. She put on a smile and reached for her son's hand.

"I'll give it my best shot" Henry smiled at her answer and knew she wasn't lying. She would never risk hurting him again. At that moment, Neal walked into the diner and Emma tried not to acknowledge him. Her eyes trying to stay connected with Henry's.

She managed a few more sentences out of her son before Henry noticed his father and was calling him over.

"Dad! You should eat with us." Henry proposed and Emma sighed before scooting over for the man.

"I worked up a feisty appetite in Neverland, how about you?" Neal joked and Henry laughed with his father. Emma sat there looking uncomfortable before remembering her words to Henry. Her best shot was not this. She needed to try harder.

"Neal, could we talk later tonight? Meet here?" Emma asked and Henry looked at her.

"With Henry?" Neal questioned, confused. Emma shook her head.

"Just the two of us." Henry smiled and couldn't contain his excitement.

"Mom! Dad! This is great." Henry exclaimed and Emma laughed.

"Slow down there, kid." Emma said amused and then looked at Neal, her heart feeling lighter than had all day. She didn't notice the pirate sitting just a few feet away at the counter. His eyes watching the small family.

Emma thinking she needed to first consult her mother on the topic of trying to start over, decided to excuse herself. She found herself going home in search of Snow.

"Mom?" Emma called out, that endearment new to her but it was awfully comforting right now.

"Yes Emma" Snow replied and walked into eyesight. Emma went to sit down on the couch and Snow followed after and smiled at her daughter.

"I have a date with Neal tonight." Emma announced and Snow gave her a confused look.

"So soon? I mean we just got back. You don't even understand your feelings for Hook." Snow reasoned and Emma looked at her.

"Exactly! I don't know my feelings for Hook, so I can't act on those. But Henry asked for me to try with Neal. It was a simple request. I agreed. I mean I loved him once, why can't I again." Snow gave her a pointed look and frowned.

"Henry went through a frightening experience. He might not be in the right mind to be asking requests. Emma, if this date is what you truly want then I don't object. I just don't want to see you get hurt again. And it's a surprise considering how you wished that Neal was dead."

"I only wished that so I could be able to move on. Maybe I'm not supposed to move on. Maybe my true love is Neal" Emma mumbled, her heart felt like she was lying to herself.

"Then I'm happy Emma. I just want to see you happy." Snow assured and leaned to kiss her daughter on the forehead. "Have fun on your date."

With that Snow was standing to go back to sit with Charming. Emma decided it would be best to kill time by taking a much needed shower and then walking around town.

Her walking provided much useful in helping her solidify the reasons she was doing this.

She still loves Neal although he was a coward and left. She could always forgive him for those past inflictions. Emma also knew that Henry has parents who loved each other would be the perfect happy ending. But she knew that Henry wouldn't just settle for them loving each other. They would have to be in love. That is Emma's problem. She doesn't even know if she could be in love anymore. Is the Savior given that luxury? Emma sighed before deciding that she would be content on trying her best, and not overthinking it.

"You are thinking awfully hard, love" Hook's voice broke her out of her thoughts and Emma looked up to see him. A smirk written over his features. Of course he would be a smug bastard at a time like this.

"My thoughts are none of your concern." Emma defended and Hook looked at her.

"I already know. I have ears. When will you tell Bae that you are just doing this for the boy?" Hook asked gently and Emma rolled her eyes.

"I don't need advice from a drunken pirate." Emma hissed and tried to walk around him. Hook stopped her with a hand on her shoulder.

"Maybe not but you seem awfully confused about starting a relationship with Bae." Hook mumbled and then he frowned. "I won't stop you, even after that kiss. I'll let you decide who you want. Fighting over you will result in nothing but your hate. And I owe it to Bae, I couldn't take his love away from him."

Emma looked at him and tried to will her feelings away.

"Now the only thing I ask for, is our friendship. I want to be friends, love" That smirk was back and Emma sighed. "And a job. I heard you were low on staff at the station."

"We are also low on money. I can't afford to pay deputies." Emma stated and Hook smirked.

"I'm willing to work for free until you get money coming in."

"Really?"

"Yeah I'm serious. I've been talking about renting with Whale. He says I don't have to pay rent. I just need to stay busy." Hook shrugged and Emma couldn't help her smile. He had decided to stay.

"Sure, why not. I'll record the times you work so I can compensate." Emma stated and Hook smiled.

"I start tomorrow then. Morning, afternoon, or evening shift?" Hook wondered and Emma thought about it for a moment.

"We can start you out at morning and see which one works for you."

"Now about that friendship." Hook mumbled and smiled.

"I guess we could, if your intentions are good." Emma stated and Hook smiled, this smile met his eyes and it warmed Emma's heart to see his genuine smile. "Well I have to meet Neal." Emma bit her lip and Hook nodded, moving out of her way to let her continue to Granny's.

Emma walked into the building and immediately she craved coffee. She looked and saw Neal sitting in a booth. She swallowed her nerves and went to sit down across from him.

"Hey Emma" Neal welcomed and Emma smiled at him. "So what do you want to eat?"

"Dinner. I guess." Emma shrugged and she looked at the menu. She could feel Neal's eyes on her and she bit her lip again.

"You are nervous. I understand though. It's been a while. Heck not even a week ago I thought I was in love with someone else." Neal rambled and Emma looked at him.

Emma placed the menu down and closed her eyes before opening them to look at him. "I just don't know how to go about rekindling what we had. Truthfully I'm doing this for Henry. He wants to have a family and I agree with him. I was going to give it my best shot." Emma explained and sighed. "I love you, like I said. I just don't know how to restart a relationship that ended almost the worst way possible."

"Almost the worst way?" Neal questioned and Emma looked away.

"You sent me to prison, Neal." Emma mumbled and Neal went quiet.

"I'm just going to get the burger." Neal mumbled back and Emma sighed. "I don't blame you for you being mad. What I did was selfish. If I knew you were pregnant, I would never have done it. I would have stayed." Neal placed his hand on hers and her eyes met his. "You still hold a spot in my heart and I know we can rekindle that."

Emma smiled softly before moving to grip his hand back. "I'll have the burger too."

Neal chuckled softly. They waited to order their food, just filling their time with random conversation and talking about the time that passed.

Emma had to admit that she thought the date was going pretty well. It was comfortable at least after they got the uncomfortable introductions out of the way and she was able to look past his abandonment for that hour they stayed eating and chatting. She smiled genuinely at him and They laughed together. The only time she began to get uncomfortable again was on the way back home. He stopped them several times and she noticed the lean in. Except every time she would start walking again. It was difficult to let those walls down.

The walls that somehow Hook managed to weaken.

Now they stood outside and Emma fiddled her keys trying to find the one to enter the building.

"Emma?" Neal mumbled and Emma looked at him.

"Yes Neal" She stated before she was too late to notice his quick lean. However she turned her head causing his lips to land on her cheek. He chuckled nervously before pulling away.

"I'm sorry Emma. I should have taken the hints" Neal apologized and Emma shook her head.

"No it's okay. I'm just not ready for that yet" Emma emphasized and Neal nodded.

"See you tomorrow?" Neal wondered and Emma nodded, she took a step and decided to oblige in a hug before going inside.

Inside she was happy that she was able to head to her bedroom without a plethora of questions. She felt strange. Like the date went good, too good. She tried not to think about it but sadly her insides felt tied up. Emma wished things wouldn't be complicated for her but that was her price for being the savior. She still felt like she had to be loyal to everyone but she didn't want to have that responsibility.

Her head was full of so much pressure before she fell asleep, still dressed in her clothes.

Hook was already in the station. Charming was gathering Hook's deputy clothing that looked a lot similar to his own when Henry came inside.

"Maybe you should invest in jeans" Charming stated looking at Hook's leather pants.

"Nah. I rather stick with my leather. And I only need one gun. One hand and all." Hook smiled.

"Captain Hook, you are going to be a deputy!" Henry stated excitedly and Charming turned to see his grandson.

"Henry, what are you doing here so early?" Charming wondered and Henry ran over to hug him.

"I wanted to talk to my mom. But she isn't here." Henry stated. "She went out on a date with Neal and I wanted to hear how it went."

"Here, I'll walk you over to the apartment." Hook suggested and Henry beamed up at him.

"Really?" Henry questioned excitedly and Charming chuckled but then watched Hook finish putting on the deputy shirt and gun holders. A jacket was added to finish the look. His leather actually went well with the outfit. Charming frowned, knowing Hook's feelings for Emma.

He pulled him aside to talk before letting the pirate leave with Henry.

"You aren't going to be jealous are you?" Charming asked and Hook looked at him.

"I already knew about the date, mate" Hook stated and Charming looked shocked. "I can control my emotions. I'm just taking the boy to see his mom. We have an agreement."

"Okay Hook, but I need you back here in a few hours." Charming stated and Hook nodded.

"I'll be back sooner than you think." Hook winked and Charming rolled his eyes.

"Just go"

With that Hook and Henry left the building.

"So you are a deputy?" Henry asked and Hook looked at him.

"Yeah, your mother and I made an agreement." Hook informed and Henry smiled.

"This is awesome! I bet you will do a good job. You invoke a lot of fear." Henry admitted and Hook shrugged. "But you helped in Neverland and I know that my mom is grateful you were there."

"Yeah she was." Hook mumbled before looking down at the boy. "Enough questions though. We are almost there."

Instead of questions, Henry passed the time with conversation and before they knew it. They were heading into the building and knocking on the door.

"Mom!" Henry exclaimed and Hook turned to look at the woman standing in the doorway.

"Hello kid." Emma smiled and Hook saw something off about her. She was smiling but her voice seemed strained. She was under a lot of stress and Henry didn't see it. Hook frowned wondering if the date went wrong. "I'm not feeling too good today."

"That's okay. We could just sit and watch some movies." Henry proposed and Emma nodded. Henry went inside and Emma lingered at the door.

"Thanks for walking here with him." Emma said gently and Hook smiled at her.

"No problem. Are you feeling alright?"

"Just a little under the weather. You look good in your uniform." Emma smiled and Hook laughed.

"Charming tried to convince me to wear these things called Jeans." Hook chuckled and shook his head. "I said that the leather suits me, what do you think?"

"Jeans would seem more modern, but you are correct. The leather suits you." Emma had looked down to admire it before realizing that her gaze lingered too long. "Well you should be at the station. So good day Killian."

"Good day, Emma" Hook bowed a bit before retreating.

**I hope you enjoyed. This will be a multi-chapter story and I will try to update quickly but can't assure it as I'll be entering a tough next semester in a few weeks. Please review!**


	2. A Day With Henry

Chapter 2 - A Day with Henry

It seemed to become a normal occurrence for Henry to try and bring breakfast to the station. It was a simple gesture and Emma always paid him back for the troubles. Hook enjoyed the food in the early morning and he seemed to always be more alive than Emma in the mornings. She always walked into him humming songs and sorting through his paperwork. She only stays for a few hours before leaving and then Charming relieves Hook at noon and Emma comes in for a few more hours after lunch.

So far it was an efficient schedule and they didn't really need anyone to stay after 8 at night. Storybrooke barely ever had crime.

Emma walked in and she looked at the clock to see that in a few minutes her son would be carrying in breakfast.

This time however, where she is normally met with joyous hums she was met with silence. She half wondered if Hook was even here, but the light was on and looking over at his desk she could see he was just going through his paperwork.

Hook didn't even meet her with a greeting, this caused Emma to frown.

She sat down and said a soft hello to him and he nodded.

The door opened and Henry came running in with a bag of food. The items that were in it was now what Henry knew was his mom's and the pirate's favorite breakfast food. For Emma; a simple egg sandwich. For Hook; two breakfast wraps. Since moving to Storybrooke, Hook's appetite has increased. Henry took it upon himself to give their breakfast to themselves but when he put the bag on Hook's desk, he saw the pirate shake his head.

"Sorry lad, but I feel rather down today." Hook admitted and Henry frowned. "Today is just not a good day for me." Emma looked over before going over to where Henry stood. She gave him the money for the food and looked at Hook.

"You okay, Killian?" Emma wondered and Hook shrugged. "Maybe you should spend a day with Henry. He could show you the town." Emma proposed and Henry looked hopeful.

"I'm sure that your lad wouldn't want to spend a day with a moping pirate." Hook stated with a frown.

"Yeah I would! Hanging out with a pirate would be amazing." Henry assured and Hook couldn't help his small smile.

"Plus the kid is good to talk to. He can make anyone feel better." Emma stated and then Hook was signed up for a day with the truest believer.

"So why is today any different than any other?" Henry wondered as they sat down at the dock looking at the Jolly Roger.

"It's a long story that happened a long time ago." Hook mumbled and Henry looked at him.

"Is it about Milah?" Henry wondered and Hook looked at him shocked.

"How did you know?" Hook wondered and Henry quickly opened his backpack and pulled out a story book. "A book?"

"The book that says all of your guys pasts and presents. Pages appear by themselves ever since magic had been released here. I read your story once and knew about how she was your first love. You still love her?" Henry wondered and Hook shook his head.

"She's dead. But her being dead left a dark place in my heart filled with sorrow and sadness. The Crocodile changes it to hatred and vengeance but even that has changed. I don't mind living here. I just thought being close to- " Hook stopped himself before looking away. "Close to people would dull the loneliness of today but it didn't seem to work"

"But it helps?" Henry questioned and Hook couldn't help a smile.

"Yeah it does, lad." Hook bumped him on the shoulder gently before standing up. "How about a tour of the Jolly Roger?"

"Really?" Henry exclaimed and Hook winked.

"Just don't tell your mother."

Henry nodded and promised before following Hook onto the deck. It was more amazing than the last time he was on, but last time he was exhausted. Hook explained everything and beamed at the boy who seemed eager to learn everything about sailing.

Hook was even tricked into agreeing to letting Henry set sail one day for a quick ride. Emma would kill him for encouraging Henry's interest in piracy. But Hook never saw such a young child who was so interested. It proved him the truest believer.

Down in the hold, Henry was able to get a hold of a child's sword and Hook looked at him.

"Could I keep one?" Henry asked and Hook frowned.

"I don't think you should have a real sword quite yet" Hook mumbled and Henry looked at them. "Plus those were made for the certain child that held them. They are all quite different if you look close enough. One curved just slightly while another could be thicker." Hook smiled. "You'll figure out what works for you. Until there you should stick with wooden swords."

"Could we duel with wooden swords?" Henry asked hopeful. "My Gramps and father treats me like I am fragile now! I want to learn to fight!" His eyes then hardened over. "They treat me like a child."

"Henry. You are a child." Hook mumbled, he bent down to be on Henry's level and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Stop trying to grow up too fast. I would give anything to be a child again." Hook smiled at him and then went to ruffle the boy's hair. "But yes we can duel, but lunch first."

Hook chuckled seeing the boy devour the burger in front of him. He had his own burger and was halfway through it. Hook had gotten some money from Emma at the beginning of the week for working. It was quite a bit and Hook tried to deny it but Emma insisted that he should get paid for the past few weeks. She also stated that Regina decided to take on the salaries of the Police station.

So this lunch was Hook's treat to Henry and he couldn't believe how much the little lad could eat.

"Slow down, lad" Hook chuckled and took a big bite from his own burger.

"I'm excited about finally playing with the wooden swords again!" Henry exclaimed and Hook smiled, he was happy to know that he caused the lad to be happy even when deep down he was still upset over this day.

"Anything else for you two?" Ruby questioned and Hook looked up at her and held back a scoff. He didn't understand why women wore such provocative clothing. Plus he knew that Ruby was extremely pretty despite the get up. He couldn't imagine his Emma wearing anything like that.

Hook frowned at his own thoughts and shook his head. She was not his Emma. She never would be.

"No Ruby. We were just finishing our burgers." Hook then reached for his money in his pocket and counted it before giving it over. "We'll leave once we are done." Hook smiled at her and Ruby smiled back before walking away. Henry looked at him.

"She was flirting with you." Henry laughed and Hook looked at the boy and shook his head.

"I'm not interested in her." Hook replied flatly and Henry eyes him.

"Anyone here you are interested in?" Henry wondered and Hook thought Emma's name but shook the thought away. "No one?"

"Milah was it for me" Hook stated, knowing it was the safest option and Henry quickly changed his gaze to his book pack, as if knowing that if he could figure out Hook's new love interest it would be in the book. Hook shifted uncomfortably, know what the book might show him. With that idea, Hook cleared his throat. "Are you done? Wanna start the duel?" Hook questioned and Henry's eyes stopped gleaming with curiosity and was replaced with playful intentions.

"Of course pirate" Henry smirked and Hook laughed.

With that they were on their way to the park to duel each other. Both of them running around and attacking each other with the swords. It was difficult to believe that they weren't related because they acted much like a father and son was.

Hook didn't even know how much time past before Henry was panting and getting slower. Even his own energy was nearly depleted and as he went to take a seat on a bench, Henry followed, breathing heavily.

"Thanks for hanging out with me today." Henry smiled up at Hook and Hook went and ruffled the boy's hair.

"No, Thank you, you helped me a lot" Hook stated and then Henry reached to pull out the book. "Hey, do you think I could borrow that, for tonight?" Hook wondered and Henry looked at it before nodding.

"Sure, just be careful with it. Some of the pages are older than others." Henry slid the book over onto Hook's lap.

"I'll be careful with it, lad." Hook smiled and then looked down at the old book.

Hook sat down on his bed with the book. He tried to gain the courage to even open it and with a sigh, his hand pulled the book open.

Surprisingly, it didn't take long to find his story and he began reading from the beginning. His heart heavy with remembering how he was as a little boy and then the abandonment of his father. His brother's death being being the driving point and Hook swiped the tear away. Soon he was reading about Milah's and Bealfire's life intertwining with his.

The pictures showed how his grief consumed him after the death of Milah. His body also wracked with sickness from his missing hand.

More pages of his background went by until he saw a picture of a blonde girl. One that he knew and recognized. It was Emma. The book showed their adventures and then a picture of them in Neverland. Tightly locked in a kiss. There are colorful aura around them and it was golden, with red edges. He tried not to think about what the colors stood for.

He saw the colors once before when he was trying to find his story. It was shown in Snow's and Charming's story.

"Wanna go out, Captain?" Whale called and Hook looked up.

"Out?" Hook wondered and Whale gave him a smirk.

"Like for drinks and maybe a night with some girls." Whale was a player, Hook knew that much when the man would come home almost every night with a girl. It was difficult living with him because Hook had eyes for one woman now. Even if she was taken.

"I don't know. I have the morning shift." Hook hesitated and Whale frowned.

"You always have the morning shift. Why don't you just call in sick if you get too wasted? We haven't gone for drinks yet as mates" Whale exclaimed and Hook sighed before looking down at the book. His eyes stared at the kiss and he frowned.

Hook wished for that moment again. He remembers how he just wanted to pull her back to him afterwards, making her forget saying it was a one time thing. For him, he could live on her kisses. The feeling of his heart at that moment was an addicting feeling. Hook wanted to feel that again. His heart always felt heavy and today it had hit its all time low. He knew Emma could help but sadly he didn't have that luxury.

But he did have alcohol.

So Hook closed the book and stood up.

"I'll take your proposal." Hook said and Whale smiled. "But just drinking." Hook said and Whale chuckled darkly.

**Thanks for reading!**

**Review!**


	3. Walls

Chapter 3 - Walls

It was always difficult to let someone in if you placed mile high walls around you. Emma knew this and every time she went on a date with Neal, she would be awfully stressed that he'll be able to find a chink in those walls. Emma didn't want to let him in so soon.

The day that Emma told Hook to spend a day with Henry was enlightening. She was able to get her work done for that day and she was surprised when Hook brought Henry back. Henry ate three servings of dinner and then managed to pass out on the couch. Hook was invited to dinner by Henry after Emma watched as Hook carried the boy over to the bed. It was endearing and she realized that she wasn't trying her best with Neal.

They hadn't been on another date in over a week and she was slowly leaning to spend more time with Hook. It was difficult to shake her feelings for Hook when they just came natural.

"You want me to leave?" Hook wondered and Emma looked at him. She nodded slowly and followed him to the door. "I had a great day. Thanks Emma for allowing him to distract me."

"Why were you upset earlier?" Emma questioned and Hook looked down at her.

"Today is the anniversary of Milah's death." Hook frowned and Emma was shocked. "But I didn't get drunk like I normally do. So I think I'm slowly getting over it."

"I'm sorry, Killian. I forgot that you must still love her."

"There isn't anything left to love. Emma, she's been dead for over a hundred of years." Hook stated gently.

"Still, it's difficult" Emma mumbled and looked up to feel the gentle brush of his lips on her. She gasped into the kiss and tried to ignore the warmth pooling between her lips.

Emma began to kiss back as Hook pulled her smaller frame to his. When they broke apart, Emma's eyes squeezed shut to block out the tears.

"Emma, love." Hook grumbled gently and Emma shook her head.

"You need to go." Emma mumbled and Hook nodded. She didn't open her eyes until she heard the door shut close and the moment they opened, she felt a tear trail down her cheek and then another.

She stood there and wished that she could be in love with Neal, and not Hook.

Emma sat next to Neal on the bench. They just had a few drinks and Emma could feel her mind being a bit hazy. His hand was on her thigh and they were talking about something she couldn't quite follow.

"I thought about you every day." Neal mumbled and Emma closed her eyes.

"Really? For ten years? I hardly believe that" Emma chuckled and Neal laughed with her.

"But I did." Neal whispered and he leaned to kiss her cheek.

Emma looked at him and then remembered her kiss with Hook. She wanted something to make her forget it. She wanted to feel that way towards Neal.

So she took that step and kissed Neal.

The kiss was soft. Emma could barely feel his lips against hers and she tried to press into it deeper.

Then it was over. Emma sighed at the unsatisfying feeling. It was difficult to place her feelings at that exact moment. She probably shouldn't have done that when she was slightly drunk.

Neal leaned close to her and breathed gently.

"Emma, what's wrong?" His hand was tracing the tattoo on her wrist.

"Just shaky" Emma mumbled and then she leaned in to give him a more demanding kiss.

Neal kissed back and Emma closed her eyes to feel the kiss deepen.

It would be so easy to imagine him someone else. Then she knew the kiss would easily get her going, but it was wrong to think that way. She couldn't even compare Neal's kisses to Hook's. Neal kissed her like she was fragile and that she could be broken at every moment.

Hook kissed her like she could disappear at every moment. Which to him, she could. Emma understood how every person in his life had been taken away from him or abandoned him. They were similar to that level. Now Emma sat making out with a guy she swore to herself, she would never let back in because of his abandonment.

How did her emotions get so messed up? Emma pulled away and looked at Neal.

"I remember you being so young." Neal whispered with a smile on his face. His hands going to move her hair back behind her ear. He chuckled. "Technically I'm old compared to you."

"Yeah you are" Emma laughed and then her face frowned. "Wasn't it weird living in the world and not understanding how everything worked?" Emma questioned and Neal shrugged.

"It was at first but slowly I was able to function in the real world the best I could. Then the fear of getting found by my father prevented me from becoming a real part of the society. I spent my time as a thief instead." Neal explained and then smiled at her. "You were lucky, coming a baby. August mentioned how it was difficult for him as a child."

"He also fell to temptations." Emma pointed out and Neal laughed.

"That he did. And I did too." Neal smiled. "You were my temptation and we are from the same world, it was fate that we were brought together."

"Why didn't you come back right away when the curse was broken?" Emma wondered and Neal frowned. He looked down and rubbed her hand.

"I was a coward. I wanted to return to you, but that would mean seeing my father. Even after hundreds of years, I was still angry at him." Neal admitted and Emma let out a gentle sigh.

"Do you think, it would have been different if your father went with you?" Emma looked at him and Neal shrugged.

"I think everything happens for a reason. If he came with, then I wouldn't have met you." Neal smiled and Emma forced a smiled back. "I feel like you are pushing me away."

"I'm not." Emma tried to assure, but her smile failed. "I just can't be fully comfortable with you yet and this bench isn't helping."

Neal smiled sadly. "Let's go back and talk about it then." Emma looked at him and the hope in his eyes broke her heart.

"Truthfully, I have these walls." Emma stated and her eyes lowered. "And I don't know yet if I can let you in. Henry wants me to but it is extremely difficult"

"Let me get you home." Neal mumbled and grabbed her hand.

Neal understood that she needed time in order to heal from his abandonment, but it has been weeks and now she kissed him. He tried not to think about how she probably only did because she was tipsy. Not only that either, her kiss was desperate. Like she was trying to convince herself.

He saw those walls the moment he saw her in New York. She had been broken too much, he just caused her to shatter.

When she was sitting with him, he could see the block in her eyes. The unhappiness.

His heart ached when she mentioned Henry. She wasn't doing this for her. Emma was doing it for Henry.

Neal knew he was a coward and he should have been with her. She told him countless times how she felt she didn't belong. It wasn't until August told him that she was the savior that he understood. Emma didn't belong here, she belonged in the Enchanted Forest as a Princess. She was always meant for it and instead she is found in a foreign world where no one wanted her.

Except he couldn't forget about their son. Their son wanted her, and it is part of the reason why she was working on their relationship. She didn't want to disappoint him despite her being the adult. Neal had been there, he sees it now with his father. His father since they got back to Neverland was trying hard to make it work.

Neal wishes he could fully forgive his father and he almost did when his father was on his death bed. But then he had Snow perform that trick and it shattered his trust again. He believed that his father was still selfish, caring only for himself. He had his own walls and he tried to direct them only to his father but he knew some of it was reflecting on Emma. He could try more. Encourage her more.

He knows that he could break down her walls, he would just have to convince her of his love.

Something inside whispered about what if she didn't love him anymore and he shook the feeling.

She had said she loved him. Yeah she wished he was dead, in order to move on. But him being there and trying to be with her, means she doesn't have to move on.

Neal looked from where he walked outside and saw Hook walking out of the station with Charming.

The pirate was irritating. Neal knew he was a part of Emma's hesitation and he saw how she easily smiled at the man. Neal didn't want to fight for her affections. It was terrible enough that Emma felt confused.

Charming patted the pirate on the back and Neal frowned. He knew that Hook was working as a deputy but when did the two men become _mates._ Was Hook really trying to sideswipe him?

Neal glared before walking over to Hook after Charming left.

"What are you playing at?" Neal hissed and Hook looked bewildered.

"What are you talking about?" Hook questioned and Neal glared at him.

"You are trying to get with Emma!" Neal accused and Hook looked at him before the realization set in.

"Bae, you are drunk." Hook mumbled and Neal glared at the older man.

"I'm not blind and my name is Neal!" Neal smacked the guy's chest and let out a grumble. Hook sighed and stood there. In many ways, he was still the little boy he met in Neverland. "You stay away from Emma"

"I work with her, mate. Sadly, I've tried to get with her but it didn't work. Her loyalty to Henry is too much. Which by the way, maybe you should focus on your son." Hook glared and Neal glared back.

"I heard about you spending a day with him. Trying to trick yourself. Trick yourself that people actually care about you here." Neal breathed. "If you haven't noticed, you are always the Villain. You will always be the Villain. You never care about anyone except yourself. Henry doesn't care about you and neither does Emma."

"And you are blinded by the drink." Hook whispered and he walked away from the man, who was trying to start an argument.

This time Neal wasn't going to get what he wanted from Hook.

"You are a coward!" Neal yelled after him and Hook turned around back to Neal.

"No. You were the one who left her. You caused her to question everything. You made her feel like she had to give up Henry. You not only ruined her, but Henry." Hook argued and Neal glared at him. "You are still that boy on my ship, lost and spiteful."

"How dare you? You never knew me" Neal yelled "You are just a guy who fucked my mother, you deserved what you got." Hook shook his head and let out a chuckle.

"Your mother loved me, that's more to say about your father. He was incapable of being loved, he was a coward." Hook grumbled and then without another word he was leaving.

Emma laid on her bed and tried to let sleep succumb her but she just couldn't fall asleep. Her body still tingling from the drinking she had done but she was sober. Her mind trying to forget the kisses she had with Neal.

They were so unsatisfying to her. She couldn't even compare them to Hook's kisses. She wishes she could, then maybe she would be able to convince her of feeling love for Neal.

Emma does love Neal, but it has been just a remembrance of when she was 17. Maybe Snow would be able to help her, but she didn't want to think about what Snow would say. She always tried to reason and it often times made Emma even more confused.

She heard the door to her room open and without looking she felt a body join her on the bed.

"Henry?" Emma questioned and she felt the boy hug her.

"I love you, mom" Henry stated before Emma could feel him settle down to rest and then him falling asleep.

The warmth from the boy calmed Emma down and she relaxed in the cuddle before falling asleep on her own.

**Thanks for reading! **

**I wanted to update sooner but then had a stomach bug hit. Oh well. Hope you enjoyed. REVIEW**


	4. Just Friends

Chapter 4 - Just Friends

They were just friends. Emma tried to convince herself again that night. She pulled on her jeans and sighed before remind herself once again. Why had she even proposed a night out with Hook? Oh that's right, she's stupid. Emma growled at herself in frustration and tried not to think about how it was technically her birthday and no one knows.

Not even the pirate she roped into spending it with her. She let out a shaky laugh and thought about how she should spend it with Neal. She shook her head. Neal was somewhat her boyfriend, she wanted to spend her birthday with her friend.  
Her friend that she happens to love kissing, and hanging out with. She slipped on her jacket and began to head to leave.

"Emma where are you heading?" Snow asked and Emma looked at her.

"Hook wanted to hang out. So I'll be back later." Emma stated shortly before leaving quickly.

Her body became chilled at the breeze but it was refreshing from the heat of the loft. It was difficult to believe how much had happened in just a year. She never really liked her birthday until last year where she wished she wouldn't be alone. Then Henry showed up. He was already out of the bed when she woke this morning and hasn't seen him at all.

She found it awfully strange but then again it didn't surprise her that no one remembered. Emma instead ignored the text from Neal and promptly texted Hook to ask if he wanted to walk around town. He agreed quickly and it had put her at ease.

"Ready to walk around?" Hook called and Emma saw him leaning against the building. His hair covered with the hood of his sweater and Emma tried not to chuckle at his insistence on wearing his leather pants.

"It's been months. Still no jeans?" Emma questioned and Hook chuckled.

"Never Emma" Hook stuck out his tongue in a playful way before moving to stand next to her. "I was thinking about walking on the beach and then maybe looking at stores."

"Why stores?" Emma grimaced and Hook laughed. His eyes not meeting hers.

"Just to browse. It'll be fun" Hook teased and Emma rolled her eyes.

They walked, quietly talking as they headed down to the shore.

Hook didn't bring up the kiss they shared months before or the talk with Neal. Neal avoided the pirate and Hook was grateful. Emma would also avoid him but then would give in and spend their time talking during work.

Having Emma next to him and talking to him, made him think about the picture in the book. He still had it in his room because Henry hasn't asked for it back. Hook was relieved because he knew Henry would reread his story and then see the kiss. He didn't want to make the boy think his parents didn't have a chance of getting back together.

Of course, if Emma chooses him then that would be her choice. But she was still trying to be with Neal. Hook was just there to assure her that he was still there for her.

"I miss coming down here to think" Emma mumbled as they stepped out onto the sand. Hook looked at her and frowned.

"When did you stop?" Hook asked and Emma shrugged.

"Shortly after we came back from Neverland. Often times my mind is too jumbled to even think. I can't sort my emotions, I try but then fail. So I just ended up giving up." Emma looked out at the water. "It's still awfully calming."

"Sailing was that way to me. When I'm off work, I still take her for a sail." Hook smiled. "Guess it must be the water."

"Someone once told me that Water had magic." Emma mumbled, remembering talking with August.

"Of course it does! It connects all of the lands." Hook added smiling. "I've been to many places m'lady. All on the good old lass" It was quite amusing to hear him regard the Jolly Roger as an actual person and Emma laughed.

Hook looked at her and couldn't help but be amazed at her beauty.

"You are so beautiful" Hook mumbled and Emma looked at him.

"Killian, We've talked about this" Emma sighed.

"No, we haven't. But it's okay, I understand." Hook assured and Emma looked at the water. "You have been trying for months to see Neal the way your son wants you to. Have you thought that maybe you did give it your best shot?"

"We both know that's not true. Cause look at who I'm with right now." Emma gestured to him, sighing. "I care about you Killian, but it can't be more than friends."

"I never promised to step aside and let you dig yourself a grave. This is what you are doing! You are unhappy, Emma. How can you not see that?" Hook whispered and Emma closed her eyes.

"I don't want to fight." Emma mumbled.

"I'm not trying to fight. Emma, Henry will be happy with whatever decision you make. Unless he sees you unhappy as result."

"I'm the savior. Do you really think I deserve to be happy?" Emma stated flatly, looking at him.

"You are the one who deserves it more than anyone." Hook assures, placing a hand on her shoulder. "Henry wants you to be happy."

"I'm just so confused, Killian. I can't say I don't love Neal, but I can't say I don't love you either." Her words echoed in his heart and he smiled.

"I know, my love." Hook teased lightly and Emma rolled her eyes. "Truthfully, Emma. What I said in the echo caves, was true. I love you. More than I ever loved Milah. That kiss in Neverland, although demanding, was like a new beginning for me."

"Killian. I can't talk about this."

"No, you will. Because you have too. You need to stop denying your feelings." Hook stated firmly. "How did that kiss make you feel?"

"I felt like my whole body was on fire. I never wanted to stop kissing you." Emma mumbled and then his lips were on hers. She gasped into the kiss and his tongue quickly moved to plunder. His hand on her lower back to press her closer and he let out a growl against her lips.

This time, she allowed herself to enjoy the kiss. Emma felt his teeth gnaw on her bottom lip, causing her to moan and she ran her nail against his scalp. Hook grumbled and Emma almost shivered at the sensation of his hook grazing against her bare skin above the waistband of her jeans.

Why was it so hard to shake her feelings for the pirate? Emma thought while she kissed him deeply. It was a wanting kiss and it made both of them burn with wanting.

When they finally split apart, she was breathing hard. Hook buried his face in her neck.

"Why today? Why did you only want me to be with you for your birthday?" Hook whispered and Emma froze.

"How?"

"I have Henry's book. But they know. They actually wanted Neal to distract you. But you never replied and now it's my job." Hook answered. "Why me?"

"Because I wanted to spend it with a friend."

"Friends don't kiss like that" Hook pointed out. Emma sighed.

"I know. Killian, it's not fair how I feel for you. We can't just be friends." Emma ran a hand through his soft messy hair and sighed again.

"You're sighing a lot." Hook chuckled and Emma tried not to give in when he kissed her neck. "If only for today, we could pretend that you have no obligations to Neal." Hook proposed and Emma looked at the water.

Why did this feel so right? Emma knew she shouldn't take him up on his offer but found herself kissing him again. This time, it was slow and they both took their time.

It was when people started showing up on the beach to jog that they decided to browse the stores. Emma fought the urge to hold Hook's hand and just listened to his story of one of his many adventures. Her chin still burned from his stubble but it was a delicious pain. One she could enjoy maybe too much.

They come up to a pet store and Hook looked at it before pulling Emma into it.

"A pet store?" Emma wondered and Hook smiled at her.

"Puppies and kittens, who doesn't love looking at them?" Hook winked and Emma laughed.

"I guess no one" Emma replied and then something caught her eye. A puppy ran by and then tripped over its own feet. Emma let out a surprised gasp before picking up the puppy. It seemed massive for its age and she nuzzled it. Hook looked her and just smiled.

The employee ran up and looked flustered.

Her name tag reading Anita.

"Sorry, someone just brought it some puppies." Anita apologized and Emma looked from the employee to the puppy.

"What breed?" Emma wondered and Anita let out a nervous chuckle.

"English Mastiff." Emma eyes widened but she still held the dog to her chest.

"What's that?" Hook wondered and Emma laughed.

"They grow big" Emma informed and Hook watched as she laid a kiss on the dog's nose. "I always wanted one. They are so gentle and loving."

"That little girl, is one of the less hyper ones." Anita informed.

"How much?" Hook wondered and then Emma's face dropped.

"Killian, you don't need to buy her." Emma mumbled and Hook shook his head at her.

"She is $800." Anita stated.

"We'll buy her." Hook told Anita and Emma tried to stop him. "No Emma, she's your birthday present. Any idea of a name?"

"Ginger. Thank you Killian" Emma mumbled before allowing herself to smile. "What about the basics?"

"I can help him pick them out. Just wait at the checkout stand and we'll be back." Anita said and Hook nodded and went to follow her.

Ginger licked Emma's neck and Emma smiled at the puppy. She was so cute and Emma was happy that Hook was getting her this present.

It was several minutes when Hook came back with a medium sized bed, dog food, some toys, and then a collar with leash.

"Anita said that all the puppies are already trained to go outside, but don't worry if she has accidents." Hook told Emma and Emma smiled.

"I'll take her to a vet sometime this week." Emma told Anita as the lady started to fill out the form.

"That's good." Anita smiled and Emma gave Hook the puppy before leaning to sign the papers. "She's all yours. Let's ring up now."

Emma held the leash to the puppy and Hook carried the bags as they made their way to the loft.

"Is it okay to go home?" Emma questioned and Hook nodded.

"They texted me when I was back getting the stuff" Hook smiled and Emma looked down at Ginger.

"Thank you for buying her." Emma said before giving him a soft kiss. "I'm sorry I'm with Neal."

"It's okay, Emma. I can wait and we both know it's not going to last." Hook mumbled and Emma nodded her head.

She had to pick up the puppy to walk her up the stairs and then when she entered the apartment she heard the many voices.

"Surprise!" Emma tried not to let it get to her. But she couldn't help it. Never had she had birthday with so many people. Of course it wasn't a lot. Just close family and friends. She felt Hook place a hand on her lower back quickly before going to put down the stuff.

Snow held her daughter in a tight embrace. Ginger is trying to scare her with her feeble bark .

"We could never forget the day you are born, willingly." Snow cooed and Emma wiped at her eyes.

"I just didn't know." Emma started and Charming chuckled.

"You got a dog?" Charming questioned

"Killian got me her as a birthday present." Emma informed and watched as Henry came running to hug his mom before getting on the floor with the dog. "Her name is Ginger."

As everyone came up to Emma to say their birthday wishes, she tried not to focus on Hook. Although his presence was so prominent. When Neal kissed her gently before wishing happy birthday, she felt sick. Neal was not for her.

Emma was back to a cruel reality. She was with Neal, not Hook. She was supposed to love Neal.

**Thank you for reading! **

**Review!**

**I'm happy that you enjoyed!**


	5. Nothing Special

Chapter 5 - Nothing Special

Emma tried not to yawn when Neal was telling his story.

"Are you even listening anymore?" Neal questioned and Emma looked at him startled.

"I just want to do something more fun." Emma sighed and Neal's eyes narrowed.

"Like hang out with Hook" Neal growled

"What? No. How dare you? I went out on a date with you. If I wanted to be with Hook right now I would be." Emma sounded offended and Neal sat back and sighed.

"So what do you want to do?" Neal asked and Emma shrugged. She was sick of being at Granny's. She also wanted to hide her feelings for Hook.

"We could buy some wine and go upstairs." Emma suggested, changing her tone to a more sultry one. Neal was now the one to look surprised and Emma smiled. Her smile never met her eyes. But with the promise of sex, Neal didn't seem to notice. He stood up and asked Granny if they could get a bottle of Wine and Emma avoided the woman's gaze.

She wanted to get this over with. If there was any hope for them, this was the ultimate way to figure out if there was anything between them. Even though she already had a feeling her body wouldn't feel anything towards her ex lover.

When they managed to go upstairs she immediately grabbed a glass and pour herself some wine. This wine was bitter and extremely cheap. Her body accepted the tart taste and she poured herself another glass to try and numb her nerves.  
"Slow down maybe?" Neal chuckled, He hadn't even poured himself a full glass.

The second glass had maybe her reaction just be a giggle and she finished it off before looking at Neal. Neal leaned in and kissed her, tasting the drink on her lips and Emma opened her mouth to let him further deepen the kiss. The thought of him touching her after her moment with Hook at her birthday was sickening.

Even though it was sickening she let it happen, she felt his hand touch her thigh and her body didn't respond like it was supposed to. She was supposed to feel like her body was on fire, like she did when she was 17. But instead it felt like her brother was touching her, if she had a brother.

But she kissed back and thought about how she needed to get through this, just once.

"Hurry I need you" Emma lied and Neal nodded, quickly he had just brought her pants down and then his own. Emma closed her eyes and thought of Him. Just to get herself prepped. She would never betray him mentally like that.

"Look at me, Emma" Neal grunted, when he had pushed himself inside. She shook her head and just laid back, needing this to be over. That wine was not helping the feeling of disgust in her gut. She faked a small moan and mimicked what she knew was her orgasm.  
She was shocked to find that Neal believed it and he had groaned out his own relief.

When he was out, she was free. Her body heaved in disgust and she rushed to the small bathroom to puke. Emma felt disgusted in herself. She wanted to just disappear. Why did she put herself through that torture.

She emerged from the bathroom and heard Neal small chuckle.

"I don't think it works that fast" Neal tried to joke and Emma let out a fake, sarcastic laugh.

"That's funny. Like I'll ever have more children with you" Emma snarled as she yanked her pants back on and Neal looked at her shocked. "I'm on the pill dumbass. I'm taking the wine with me." Emma grabbed the bottle and took a swig before leaving the room. She felt done. She couldn't feel anything towards Neal. Nothing. Maybe she never did.

Walking towards the beach, she drank more and more from the wine bottle. She wanted to be numb. Emma didn't want to feel so conflicted anymore about her feelings. She just wanted to be with Hook. How did he get under her skin without even realizing it?

"Someone getting drunk?" Charming's voice sounded and Emma looked over at her father. "Rough day?"

"Rough months." Emma sighed and Charming laughed. He sat down on the sand next to her.

"Tell me about it." Charming told her and Emma sighed. Emma looked out at the sea.

"You know how I figured out who I was in Neverland. I must have changed, because I'm not sure who I am anymore." Emma mumbled. "David, I know you are my father and I feel that love now, so I can't be an orphan. What does that make me?"

"Only you can answer that." Charming stated and Emma looked at him.

"I didn't think I was the person to ever fall in love, and to a pirate no less. I had sex with Neal today." Emma mumbled.

"Really? But you just said that you fell in love with Hook."

"I know. That's why I did it. I wanted.. Needed to know if I felt anything to Neal. So I had sex with him. I threw up from disgust afterwards. I just couldn't handle the idea of him touching me." Emma informed and Charming frowned. "I don't even think I ever loved him."

"That's a possibility. When you were younger you were probably just enticed by the idea of an older guy and stealing. No one can blame you." Charming told her but Emma drank from the bottle again.

"Henry can." Emma whispered and Charming wrapped an arm around her shoulder. "He'll hate me. I know he will. I tried though. That was my best shot." Emma mumbled

"He won't ever hate you. You are his mother." Charming assured and then gave her a small smile. "You know, I don't mind Hook that much. He's a wonderful deputy."

"That he is." Emma agreed.

"I don't think he is a pirate anymore, maybe at heart but he is also a sailor. They are loyal. I don't think you should kick yourself for falling in love. He did save me." Charming pointed out and Emma frowned.

"Aren't you supposed to steer me from the bad boys?" Emma teased and Charming grinned.

"Only if they were truly bad, which Hook isn't." Emma took a long drink from the wine bottle and then let out a nervous laugh. "Maybe you should talk to your mother"

Emma nodded and let her father hug her before getting up, actually incredibly dizzy from the wine. She let out a giggle before Charming steadied her. Obviously the talk had dulled the effects of the wine.

"I'll give you a ride." Charming stated and Emma nodded.

"I'm done with serious talks tonight." Emma pleaded, and Charming had to pry the bottle of wine from her because she proceeded to try and down the rest of it. "That wine is terrible."

"Well now you don't have to worry about it."

"Not fair." With that he pushed her gently into the car and got in to drive her to the loft.

Emma struggled up the stairs and stumbled inside the apartment. She giggled immensely as Ginger barked at her to greet. Emma picked up the puppy and let her lick on her face.

"Emma, we've been teaching her not to do that." Snow stated in disapproval and looked at Charming for help.

"She's drank nearly a whole bottle of cheap wine. She had a rough day" Charming informed and Emma all of the sudden held Ginger to her chest and let out a gentle cry.

"Your daddy isn't here" Emma whispered to the dog and Snow's eyes widen.

"This about Hook?" Snow questioned and Emma looked up at her.

"His name is Killian." Emma defended and Charming sighed before walking to get a beer from the fridge, he desperately needed one.

"Emma, Sweetheart you smell awful. Do you want to go take a shower and then we can talk?" Snow questioned and Emma looked at Ginger.

"Why talk?" Emma groaned and Snow began to lead her to the bathroom. Snow was shocked when after she had put Ginger down, that she just stripped and drew a bath.

"I guess I'll wait." Snow started but Emma grabbed her hand.

"No, stay with me" Emma mumbled and Snow nodded. She sat on the toilet and watched as Emma began to cry as she let the warm water surround her.

"I shouldn't have had sex with him. He doesn't care. I don't care." Emma cried and Snow stroked her daughter's hair.

"Who?"

"Neal. I'm just done. I can't be who Henry wants me to be. I don't know who I am. I need to be the savior, but not like this. I don't want to be the savior if I can't be with who I truly love." Emma admitted. Her heart aching.

"You don't have to be anyone you aren't" Snow assured and Emma looked at her. She let out a gentle cry. "Emma, if you want to be with Killian then you can. No one will stop you. Even the savior deserves her true love."

"But Henry.." Emma started and Snow stopped her.

"Henry will accept your decisions, even if it hurts him. He is young, he will understand when he is older" Snow stated and Emma closed her eyes.

"The sex was terrible. I puked afterward. I was so disgusted, with myself mostly." Emma whispered and Snow looked shocked. "Is it too hard to believe that I had sex with Neal!?"

"No, it's just surprising. Everyone kind of knew you weren't really devoted to that relationship." Snow admitted and Emma nodded, that's why Granny looked at her strange. "Emma, you never had to force yourself into that."

"I needed to try and that was my last option." Emma mumbled and Snow let out a soft cooing.

"Sex should never be the last option."

Emma finished soaking and just got out while Snow gave her a towel. Emma sat on her bed and picked up Ginger to place her on it.

"You should get dressed, Henry is coming later." Snow informed and Emma nodded.

Emma had just pulled on her shirt when harsh knocking sounded and Ginger ran out from where she was sleeping on the bed. Emma peeked out and even Snow and Charming looked confused.

Going to the door, Emma peeked out to see it was Neal. She opened it and was shoved back.

"You bitch!" Neal started and Emma looked surprised. "You faked everything. This whole relationship!"

"Neal, I didn't want to but Henry wanted me to try." Emma started and tried to reason.

"You are a whore. You trick everyone. This is all bullshit. I just overheard you little flirting on your birthday. How did it feel to have your tongue down Hook's throat? You were dating me!" Neal screamed and Emma felt the burst of anger.

"Just leave me alone! You were a coward so even if you were my true love, which you aren't, you never gave us a chance! I'm not a whore, I did this for Henry. I tried" Emma hissed and Neal rolled his eyes.

"How many times are you going to throw it in my face that I left you? Can you ever get over it?" Neal growled and Emma let out a frustrated cry.

"You selfish asshole! All I ever wanted was for someone to stay!" Emma hit his chest and she glared at him. "You left me willingly! My parents had no choice, you are just like my foster parents, replacing me."

"Like you didn't replace me" Neal scowled and Emma let out a laugh.

"There was nothing to replace" Emma stated, the words hitting low. "Now get out of our home."

"I'm going back to Manhattan, I'm done dealing with everyone's shit here. Tell Henry"

"Tell me what?" A voice piped and Emma's face dropped.

"Do it Emma" Neal hissed and Emma glared at him.

"It's your decision, why don't you tell him?" Emma bit back.

"We know damn well, I wouldn't be leaving if you actually tried." Neal muttered and with that he rushed from the apartment. Emma grabbed Henry's hand and decided to just tell him.

"Your father is leaving. We couldn't make it work." Emma stated and Henry's face turned dark. She began to see the betrayal etch onto his features. She recognized that look. It was similar to her own as a child.

"Why?" Henry demanded and Emma tried to keep her hand on her son.

"Henry, you don't understand. I don't love your father."

"Then why did you have me?" Henry hissed and he stomped up to the loft.

Emma stood there shocked and she felt a hand on her shoulder.

"He'll understand in time" Charming's voice sounded and Emma pulled away.

"I'm leaving." Emma mumbled and she left the apartment, slamming the door behind her.

She found herself outside of Whale's, she needed to talk to Hook. Frantically, she knocked on the door and was shocked when the door opened. Her hand accidently hitting a chest.

"Emma, are you here to see Killian?" Whale's voice asked and Emma nodded. Her chest felt tight and she saw Hook enter the hallway and her strength broke. She let out a heavy sigh and didn't realize her own tears until she was wrapped in his arms.

"What happened?" Hook questioned.

"I had sex with Neal. It was terrible. I can't do it. I can't be with him. He's leaving and he had me tell Henry. Henry hates me." Emma rushed and she didn't entirely want a response, Hook knew this and just stroked her hair.

He brought her in the living room and let her sit down.

"He doesn't hate you." Hook murmured and Emma shook her head.

"I know his face, he looked betrayed." Hook rubbed her hand and frowned.

"It will be okay." Hook assured and Emma leaned to rest her head on his chest.

They sat there for almost an hour, Hook just comforting Emma, Emma needed this, she just needed the comfort.

"I don't mean to interrupt you guys but Mary called, Henry's missing" Whale's voice sounded and Emma sat up.

"He's going after Neal. We need to stop him." Emma said frantically. Hook got up and nodded.

"I'll go with, I need to get something first." Hook then left upstairs and Emma waited while pacing nervously.

"Why do you have that?" Emma wondered seeing the book in his arms.

"Henry let me read it." Hook said and then motioned for Emma to leave. "We'll drive your car, he's most likely just walking. Henry can't get far."

"I hope so." Emma stated gently and Hook stopped her gently.

"Stop worrying. It will be okay Emma." Hook assured again and leaned to give her a gentle kiss. They then continued the walk to where Emma knew her car was.

Driving in the dark made it difficult to see on the sides where the forest was. Emma drove, keeping herself calm and almost screamed when Hook touched her to get her stop.

"Damn it Killian! Don't scare me like that." Emma hissed.

"Stop, he's in the forest." Hook stated and Emma looked out, squinting in the dark.

"How do you know? I don't see anything"

"I know, I'll find him. You stay here." Hook mumbled and he grabbed the book before getting out of the car.

Hook walked out into the forest a bit and he stood there.

"Henry I know you are here." Hook called out and he stayed quiet, hearing a branch break. A few minutes passed before Henry stepped out from behind a tree.

"How did you know?" Henry asked, his eyes dark as he stood there.

"A Pirate intuition." Hook stated, his voice serious and Henry stared at him. "I saw you dart into the forest when you saw the headlights. I've trained myself to notice the slightest of movements."

"I don't want to go back. I want to be with my father." Henry crossed his arms and Hook looked at him.

"Your father is leaving because Emma admitted to not loving him. Your mom gave it her best shot. He wasn't her true love." Hook explained and he held out the book.

"Why are you giving me that now?" Henry asked, he took it looking confused.

"Look at a photo of your grandparents kissing, the one with the coffin show it." Hook murmured and Henry opened the book, his memory of the book bringing him to the page quickly. "Now flip to my section. After I came back to bring them to Neverland." Henry did as he told and when his eyes met the picture of Hook's kiss with Emma he gasped.

"Why? How?" Henry asked, his mind trying to figure this new information out.

"The first time I saw her, I knew. I had been in love once before. But when I got stranded in Neverland for hundreds of years, I met Tinkerbell. She once told me that when we lose someone we love, we still have a soul mate out there. She told me how to recognize when I see them." Hook paused to see if Henry would add anything. "When I saw your mom, I felt this connection, like I would do anything for her. But my loyalty to Cora caused that to be strained, when your mom questioned my loyalty I was upset."

"I heard about you locking them up." Henry stated and Hook nodded.

"But I let her win, when they came looking for the compass. I gave Aurora her heart back too. Even now I am standing here, trying to convince you to come back with your mom. I'll do anything for her." Hook said. "That selfless love is what makes her my true love. I don't know when she realized but we love each other Henry. That's why she can't love Neal."

"She should have told me. She lied again" Henry hissed and he threw the book to the ground. "I am done being lied to. All I know is I matter to my father, he doesn't lie to me."

"Did he tell you that he was leaving?" Hook asked and Henry didn't answer. "He abandoned you Henry. Just like he abandoned your mother when she was younger."

"My mother abandoned me." Henry pointed out.

"She couldn't have been a mother to you at that point. She had no experience with good relationships. Emma was scared. Henry, you can't blame her for that. You were left with a good mother."

"Why are you defending her? Why do you care about me?"

"Because you are like a son to me" Hook mumbled and Henry looked at him. "I never had a child, Henry. You're the first that hasn't absolutely hated me." His voice lowered, as if he was reliving sad memories. "If your father cares then he will come back, but you can't go after him."

"I've been like a son?" Henry questioned and Hook looked at the boy. He frowned before nodding slowly, he never wanted to reveal that information to him because it made him feel vulnerable.

He was surprised to feel the boy run and hug him. Henry then wordlessly went and picked up the book before leaving the forest. Hook saw Emma rush out of the car to embrace her son.

She was crying again and Hook saw how Henry immediately became the loving son, he didn't realize how much he affected her.

It was when they were driving back to town when Emma reached over and grabbed his hand.

"Thank you Killian for helping me find him." Hook looked in the back and saw that the boy was sleeping. His hand gripping the book. "I don't know how you convinced him."

"Emma, both of you are my family now. I'll do anything for you"

**Thank you for reading and Review. **


	6. The Aftermath

Chapter 6 - The Aftermath

Emma parked in front of their apartment and looked over at Hook. He was looking outside, his face hidden by the night.

Moments later, she heard the familiar sound of rain hitting the car.

"Mom" Henry mumbled and Emma looked back at him. "I'm sorry for running away."

"Henry, it's okay. Let's go inside." Emma stated and she stayed behind while Henry left the car and ran inside. "Killian, can you stay and talk with me? Just for tonight."

"Of course," Hook smiled at her and he then left the car.

It was several minutes before she had got Henry tucked into his bed and was heading down the short set of stair from the loft. She looked over and saw that Snow and Charming was sleeping already. They had a curtain put up, just in case Emma wanted to stay up downstairs.

She saw Hook sitting on the couch and Emma walk over to sit next to him.

"What did you tell him?" Emma asked and Hook looked at her.

"I told him the truth." Hook stated, smiling. "He thought you lied to him again."

"I didn't mean to. I tried hard to make it work." Emma said softly and she felt his hand reach for hers.

"Why did you have sex with him?" Hook wondered and Emma sighed.

"I thought it would.. I don't know, prove that I could feel something, anything, towards him. There was once that having sex with him seemed to bring my body to life. We would get done with a theft and just go at it." Emma looked over at the wall and frowned. "I was young, we never used protection and that's how I ended up pregnant. I know that changed me, but I always thought I would love Neal."

"People change Emma." Hook assured and Emma looked at him.

"I thought I would always be a lost girl. I made all the wrong choices. When I was Henry's age I lost my faith in the system. I got my tattoo when I was 14. I began to shoplift, I ran away from homes. I had sex with guys from my school. When I turned 17, they were happy to sign me over on my own. I became broke in a matter of days and had to live on the streets. When I met Neal, he promised a lot." Emma paused. "It's just different now. I have a family, I don't get off on the idea of stealing. I just wanted to be loved for so long. I forgot how reckless I was until Neal was thrown back into the picture."

Emma tightens her hold on his hand. A tear slipping down her face.

"I don't think I ever loved him. I felt like I was being tortured when his hands were on me. I shouldn't have had sex with him, I know it was cruel." Emma looked down at their hands. "He's different too. I always thought of him as Neal, but now he can also be Baelfire and it's complicated. I don't know him anymore."

"Bae was a scared little boy. He was also stubborn. There is no denying that. Once, I felt a fatherly connection to him and he turned me down. He doesn't anyone to be there for him." Hook said gently. "Neal is him, he wouldn't be able to hide that much of himself."

"You do." Emma mumbled and Hook let out a chuckle.

"I have a problem, Bae doesn't. Captain Hook is man led by revenge, he has a black heart. Killian Jones is an honorable man and fights for his brother's name. Captain Hook can barely even be called a pirate." Hook stated gently and Emma frowned. "Killian saw his first love killed in front of him, that's enough to change any man. Bae was abandoned but how does that change him. How did it change you? You are still the same Emma, you were just looking for what you wanted. Bae will find that."

"What if I don't know what I want?" Emma asked and Hook looked at her.

"It looks as if you already found it." Hook mumbled and then he felt her soft kiss. He kissed her back, his hand moving to her hair. It was a gentle kiss, one that made Emma want more. Her hands were running through his hair and she hummed approval against his mouth.

Hook pulled apart and Emma kept her eyes closed.

"You, I want you." Emma mumbled and Hook pulled her into a tight embrace. "How long?"

"What Emma?" Hook questioned.

"How long have you known you love me?" Emma murmured and Hook chuckled.

"Ever since I saw you." Emma looked at him and smiled. "I have to tell you something."

"What is it?"

"When we were in Neverland, and I was bringing David up to get that water. Peter Pan gave me a way off the island. I never told you because you were with Neal, but it would have ensured that you and I got off that island. The payment was to kill David. Not let the dreamshade do it." Hook looked down. "I can't deny that I thought about it, but I couldn't. It would be the most absolute betrayal and I wouldn't have been able to lie to you."

"Peter pan knew that we would have found Henry, That's why he even offered." Emma mumbled and Hook nodded.

"He was lying. I saw it. He was going to use me to pick you all off one by one. He would never have let me leave. Emma, even if it meant your safety and you not hating me completely from taking you away from your son. I wouldn't have taken it." Hook assured

"Killian, I know you wouldn't." Emma said softly and she gave him a gentle kiss.

"Where's Ginger?" Hook wondered looking around and Emma smiled.

"She's sleeping with Henry." Emma yawned and she stretched gently. "We don't have another bed for you to lay on."

"This is fine." Hook mumbled and he reached to pull off his shirt. "I don't sleep with a shirt on. I'll keep the pants for your parents' and Henry's sake." The wink he gave her made her roll her eyes. "You can go on up to Henry." Hook stated and Emma smiled.

"I'll just stay here." Emma said softly and she moved to lay down, leaving enough space for Hook to lay down behind her. She heard him unstrapping the harness to his hook and then felt him lay behind her.

She went to sleep that night with Hook's hand on her waist and his hot breath on the back of her neck.

Hook woke up when the light just started flowing into the room and he stretched the best he could with Emma in front of him. Emma let out a sigh and shifted. Hook groaned before having to calm his body's natural reaction. His hand moved so his fingers grazed her bare skin at her hip.

He looked up when he heard movement and saw Snow walking around.

Were they the only ones who woke up this early? Snow clicked her tongue and Hook smiled hearing the puppy running down the stairs and watched as Snow helped get the dog out to go potty.

Next he heard Charming start to stir behind the curtain and he thought about sitting up. It was different to have slept somewhere with so many people living there.

Hook couldn't help himself when he pulled back Emma's hair and kiss her neck before sitting up. His joints ached and he dreaded having to put his hook back on. His movement caused Emma to stir awake and he frowned since she looked so tired.

"Oh Hook." Charming's voice sounded, his eyes wide.

"Dad, don't" Emma stated, her voice rough.

"I wasn't going to start anything" Charming chuckled holding up his hands. "I'm going to start breakfast." Emma rubbed her eyes and yawned.

"You want coffee?" Emma asked Hook and he shook his head.

"I'm not entirely tired." Hook mumbled and he heard the door open.

"Wow, Almost everyone is awake." Snow exclaimed, her face cheery and she smiled at Hook. "An extra person for breakfast"

"Is this always your weekends?" Hook questioned and Emma nodded.

Hook watched her as she stood up to go make herself coffee. Hook felt Ginger whine from the floor and he looked down to pick up the puppy.

"You've gotten so much bigger already" He cooed to the dog and Ginger let out a bark.

"Ginger, no bark." Emma commanded and Ginger let out a whine before plopping down on Hook's lap.

Snow walked into the kitchen and took over the eggs that Charming started. Emma brewed some coffee and returned to the couch, holding the mug. Ginger moved to lick her hand gently and then settled back down.

Emma took small sips and looked at Hook. He sits shirtless but it wasn't any different than Charming walking around that way, so it wasn't a big deal. Except it let Emma fully appreciate him this morning. Just looking at him, she saw the raw skin from where the straps of his hook would cross his chest.

And then she saw the scars, scars that told millions of stories and she wondered where he got each one. How did he manage to survive after so many years? He was busy petting Ginger that he didn't notice her staring but there were times like now that she could see how much age he had, you saw it by how he presented himself. You saw it in his eyes. They were still a vibrant blue but there was a distance in them that promised many horrors.

She knew about Milah and his brother, but what about his parents? She also wondered if there was other loved ones.

Emma might be an open book, but Hook surely wasn't.

"Should we wake up Henry?" Snow asked Emma and it broke her out of her staring. She looked up at her mom and shook her head.

"Let him sleep in." Emma said gently, knowing the boy needed his sleep. She jumped when she heard a soft snore and she looked over to see Ginger out cold on Hook's lap. "What did you do?" Emma laughed and Hook smiled.

"I petted her." Hook chuckled and Emma watched as he picked her up before standing up. "I'm going to put her down next to Henry." Emma nodded and watched him leave.

"So he stayed the night." Snow stated and then gave her a look that ensured that Emma was going to talk to her later that night. Emma sighed and took a few more sips of her coffee. She didn't want to talk about her relationship with Hook with anyone except him yet.

She didn't even know what to call them. Even though they loved each other, it was just yesterday that they talked about what she wanted.

She didn't want to be selfish anymore. Like she has been with most everyone since she came back. Emma should have just told Neal outright and now he is gone, she can't even apologize. Hook deserves an apology also, because she had sex with Neal. Henry deserved an apology from her hiding things.

Maybe time will tell her how things will go from here.

She looked up to see Hook strapping the hook back into place, it looked difficult with only one hand but it was second nature to him. Even how he is able to get dressed and undressed without tearing his clothes was amazing.

She stood up, hearing Snow place the food on the counter and getting out plates.

"We never have breakfast at Whale's" Hook stated and Charming laughed.

"Whale is mostly hungover on the weekends." Charming pointed out and Hook nodded.

"Late night at the bar mostly." Emma looked at him and saw the uncomfortable glint in his eyes.

"Ever went with him?"

"Once, wasn't my style" Hook admitted and served himself.

Emma frowned and looked at him. "What is your style?"

"Emma, it's his business where he went to." Charming said sternly. "We don't question where you went with Neal."

That was a low blow but Emma knew he was right. Hook had every right to go out with friends and enjoy himself. Emma served herself and remained quiet. Snow let out a sigh and Emma knew that she wanted to say something.

It was minutes before she spoke. "I know it's difficult, but we are here and having breakfast. Neal went back to Manhattan, we don't know if he is moving back or if he is just there to cool off. We can all agree that he's not bad and that we have all made bad decisions. We need to act like a family, a team. Henry needs that. He doesn't need us bickering and taking jabs at each other."

Snow stopped and she looked at everyone. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

"I'm pregnant." Snow announced and Emma looked up, shocked. "I was going to tell everyone yesterday but then it got too intense."

"How far along?" Emma asked.

"Two months." Charming answered and Emma looked at Snow. Wordlessly, she stood up and walked over to Snow to give her a tight hug.

"I'm so sorry. You didn't deserve the stress from yesterday." Emma mumbled and Snow let out a small laugh.

Snow hugged her back and shook her head. "I'm just happy that you are okay."

Emma forced the tears that threaten to fall down and she let out a sigh. "Of course I'll be okay. It was my bad decision and it backfired."

"We are all here for you, you could have talked to any one of us" Charming said gently.

"You're never alone." Hook stated and Emma looked at him and wiped at her eyes.

"I know. I was just so used to it."

**Thank you all who reviewed the last chapter and for new readers! I'm disappointed with the last chapter, I started writing it while sick. So wasn't really thinking straight. Anyhow, this chapter I wanted to better explain and have everyone get a feel with how much Emma has gotten herself into. It's difficult to justify her decisions for the last chapter because she can't justify her own actions. **

**I enjoyed writing this chapter and so I hope you enjoy reading it**

**Thank you for reading and don't forget to review!**


	7. Wanting You

Chapter 7 - Wanting You

It was difficult to think that it was only a week ago that Neal left. Henry wouldn't talk about what Hook said to him that convinced him to come back or even talk about the incident. It drove Emma crazy because she needed to talk to him about it. She didn't want to make any decisions until she knew where Henry stood with them.

"You want to go to the park, Henry?" Emma asked and Henry looked at, his eyes still holding his youth, something she thought would be gone after Neverland.

"Sure" Henry replied and went to grab his jacket. Emma waited till he was ready until they left.

The car ride to the park was quiet but emma expected it from him, he hasn't been doing much talking. Emma paused in the car before getting out, she wish he would just talk to her. Instead he remains quiet.

Henry sat down on the swing and pushed.

"It's okay to be mad at him, and at me." Emma mumbled and Henry looked at her.

"I don't want to be mad. I just don't know how to handle this." Henry stated. "I'm not even mad."

"I don't know if Neal is going to come back but he does love you." Emma said softly and Henry shook his head.

"He doesn't know me." Henry whispered and Emma felt her heart drop. "He's my father but then again he's not."

He stayed quiet and Emma was too shocked to reply.

"Have you ever thought about having another child?" Henry asked and looked at her.

"I need to be with someone in order to have another baby. So not lately." Emma replied, her mind confused. "And Snow is having her baby."

"But it won't be a sibling." Henry sighed. "What about with Killian?"

"I don't know."

"He loves you." Henry stated and Emma nodded. "Do you love him?"

"Henry. What would you think if I do?" Emma questioned and Henry looked at her.

"I think that you should do it. Be with him. What he feels for you is true. I see it. He showed me"

"How did he show you?"

"The book, it has a specific aura that is casted around two people when they are made for each other. He figured it out and then showed me in the forest. It's one of the reasons why I came out. I couldn't be mad at you not loving Neal because you couldn't." Henry stated and Emma stood, her mouth opened in surprise. "Do you love him?"

"Yeah I do" Emma mumbled and Henry smiled. It was a genuine smile and it made Emma happy to see it. "What else did Killian tell you?"

"That's between us." Henry laughed and Emma joined in. "I think you should give him a chance. I don't mind him."

"Okay Henry. This isn't just a ploy to get a sibling?" Emma asked suspicious and Henry shrugged.

"I want a sibling, but I can wait." Emma looked at him and let out a small chuckle.

They had spent most of their day just hanging out until Emma went into work later that day.

"Good day, Emma?" Hook's voice greeted her almost immediately and she smiled. Even though she was already having a terrific day, he made it seem better.

"Yeah, I spent the morning with Henry. We finally talked." Emma informed and Hook smiled at him.

"Things good?"

"More than good." Emma mumbled and she went over to stand by him. "Thank you for talking to him. However he did tell me what you showed him in the book."

Hook remained quiet and then shrugged. "The book doesn't lie."

"I wasn't lying when I said that I wanted you." Emma stated and Hook looked at her. "I wasn't avoiding you this week because of that. I was avoiding because I didn't want to make decisions until I knew Henry understood where we stood with each other."

"And where is that?" Hook wondered, standing up and looking at her.

No words were spoken, Emma just initiated a deep kiss and soon his body had her trapped against the desk. His tongue swept across her lips and she gasped, welcoming it. She tried to swallow her loud moans but his hand gripping her ass was not helping.

How did they go so long without each other? Neverland's kiss was exhilarating and left them both wanting more. She had tried so hard to forget him but he never truly left her mind.

"Excuse me." A gruff voice sounded and Emma let out a yelp of surprise, pulling away and not ignoring the obvious hardness pressed against her. She looked past Hook and her face turned red seeing the owner of the voice.

"David." Hook mumbled and Emma remained quiet.

"I came here to relieve you for the day but I see, work wasn't really getting done." Charming even looked flustered at catching them both in this situation.

"I just got here" Emma added and Hook nodded.

"Nonetheless, Killian you can leave." Charming stated and Hook nodded, he didn't hesitate to press a kiss to Emma's lips before leaving the station. "Emma-"

"I don't want to hear it" Emma cut off and she went and sank down in her desk chair.

"I was just going to say that maybe work is not the best place to share personal moments."

"It was unexpected. We've been denied too long." Emma mumbled and Charming looked at her. She let out a sigh and tried to calm her beating heart. "I love him"

"I know, Emma." Charming let out a chuckle. "Just go after him, I know you want to"

With that, she was gone.

It wasn't hard to find the pirate, he was on his way to the ship he adores and he was surprised by her forceful kiss until they were heading to the Jolly Roger, laughing.

He felt so young with her. Sneaking these kisses and groping like teenagers. Hook kissed down her neck and revealed in her moans.

"Killian.." Emma moaned and then she tried to pull away. "Wait."

Hook let her move away for a few inches and looked at her. His eyes dropping down to admire her rising breasts with her every breath. She let out a small laugh before forcing his eyes to meet hers.

"I wanted to talk."

"You are talking" Hook grumbled, his arousal present.

"What happened to your parents?" Emma asked and Hook stepped away from her.

His eyes changed to a sad blue and Emma almost regretted asking the question but she saw him prepare to answer.

"My mother died during childbirth. Liam and I both knew my father resented me for it, but it was proven when he abandoned us. We grew up on our own and struggled everyday until we joined the navy." Emma was shocked and she saw him close his eyes. Emma reached for his hand and frowned. Hook shook his head. "It was long time ago. I don't like remembering it."

Emma didn't respond and instead kissed him. This time it was soft and comforting. A kiss that only served one purpose. To tell each other that they were there. Hook let out a gentle sigh and pulled away. His eyes glossed over. Emma smiled and gripped his hand.

"Now, since we've talked I need to say something." Emma mumbled and Hook nodded. "I talked with Henry, I wanted to know how he would feel if something was between us. He only said positive things and so I'm going to completely admit this to you and even to myself." Emma paused and then smiled. "I love you. I don't know when it happened but I am."

Hook face broke out in a grin and he leaned forward to kiss him.

"Finally you admit it. I love you too Emma Swan" Hook whispered against her mouth and she let out a quick moan. She deepened the kiss and let her body relax into his motions.

Her heart beat quickened and her skin felt like it was burning. How did he cause he to feel this way? They responded to each other without talking. When she would crave his taste, he would tease her tongue into his mouth and vice versa. It was an intimate dance and she knew he was swallowing her mouths to avoid breaking the kiss.

Soon she became breathless and broke apart. Immediately, Hook kissed down her jaw and onto her neck. She let out a squeak when his lip found a sensitive spot. His mouth kissing the pulse point and nibbling on the skin gently. She leaned into his kisses and moaned when his fingers grazed the back of her neck.

Damn was tonight the night she was supposed to go on that girls' night.

Emma sighed, pushing him away gently.

"Killian, I need to go home. Snow wanted me to join her with the girls." Emma said gently and Hook stepped back, a soft frown on his face.

"Another time then." Hook mumbled, kissing her lightly.

"Most definitely!" Emma replied. She wished she could just stay with him.

**I feel terrible! This chapter is so short but there isn't really anything else I want to add to this chapter. I wish I wasn't busy with school, plus writing helps me procrastinate. It's really just a lose lose situation. I assure you the next chapter will be better. **

**Review and thank you for reading! **

**Any one experiencing cold weather? I'm actually lucking out here in Alaska, it's warmer then it has been. **


	8. The Night Goes on

Chapter 8 - The Night Goes On

Even though Snow couldn't drink, she enjoyed the time she had with the girls. All delving secrets of relationships except Emma, who stayed quiet. Snow knew that she wasn't hung up on what happened with Neal, because she had gotten several texts from Charming telling her about her moment with Hook.

"So Emma, any new guys after Neal?" Ruby dared to ask and Emma looked up startled, her cheeking reddening. She nodded slowly.

"But not like how you think." Emma mumbled and Ruby pushed a shot glass over to her. Tonight they were taking shots of Vodka, except Snow who had chose a Sprite to drink, and it was strong. Emma wouldn't really have drank it if it wasn't from them. It was a girl's night afterall.

"How is it exactly?" Belle wondered and Emma couldn't help her smirk.

"I know that I love him and even though I was just with Neal, I'm not going to let anything get between it." Emma assured and Snow smiled. She had saw the way her daughter looked at the pirate and knew for a while, since the kiss there was something connecting the two. and Snow knew Hook loved Emma because he had stayed in Storybrooke.

"So who is it?" Ruby smirked and Emma let out a laugh.

"No privacy in this damn town." Emma muttered and then smiled. "It's Killian if you must know" Ruby let out a laugh and then slid her another shot.

"Yay for hot guys" Ruby laughed and Belle giggled. Emma rolled her eyes and downed her shot. Good thing Snow could drive. "But seriously you really love him? I thought you didn't believe in that stuff."

"I never said I didn't believe in it. I just was skeptical about finding my true love." Emma defended.

"It's hard to believe in something you never saw. I understand Emma." Belle defended. "She grew up with no one, so you can't blame her"

"I was just wondering." Ruby held up her hands. "When did you even figure this out?"

"She has been since Neverland." Snow added with a smile and Emma looked at her.

"No I haven't!"

"Emma, you can't deny it. Even before you kissed him-"

"We kissed, I didn't just kiss him" Emma cut off and Snow laughed.

"I know damn well you kissed him, because you told me and I think you might be a bit too tipsy already." Snow was laughing and Ruby joined in.

"I bet he's a good kisser, guy with a past like that always do." Ruby said dreamily.

"I agree to that! Another drink!" Belle agreed and Ruby took another shot with her.

"Past?" Emma asked, confused and then Belle turned to her.

"A dark one, one that causes them to be a bit insecure or angry. I mean, heck Charming even had a little one, didn't he Snow." Ruby pointed out and Snow's eyes widened.

"I don't know. Well I do, but it doesn't compare to all three of your men's stories." Snow mumbled and Belle shook her head.

"Hell, My Rumple cut off Hook's hand. The past makes them dark and just sexy." Belle winked and Emma motioned for another drink. Damn why was this talk getting to her.

"He's not dark anymore." Emma defended Hook and Snow laughed.

"They don't mean it in a bad way, just that he has seen things." Snow placed her hand on Emma's and gave her a reassuring smile. "Just have fun."

Emma nodded, deciding she was going to enjoy this rare night.

Hook laughed as Charming handed him a beer, they had the loft that night while the girls were out and Hook was happy to be able to spend it with someone he counted now as a friend. Whale was a friend but truthfully he didn't find the bar scenes appealing anymore. Maybe 300 years ago but not now.

After Charming gave him a typical speech about how if he broke Emma's heart, Hook would be begging for mercy. It was understandable for the fatherly protection but also very amusing. Hook smirked and wished secretly that Emma grew up differently. If she had David all along to guide her, she probably wouldn't have been so broken.

They settle into their usual manly activities of watching tv and drinking beer and sharing stories when Charming was explaining Emma's birth and the events following.

"I never wanted to let her go, I had half the mind to try and keep her." Charming explained. "Many would think we are unloving because we were able to give her up like that, but the moment I put her in that wardrobe I wish it was different. Hell I thought that I was dying." Charming paused and looked at Hook. "You better hope that nothing happens, that you never have to say goodbye to your own child. It's different in losing a partner. It's more personal."

"I couldn't even imagine." Hook shook his head and sighed. "But I guess the curse was some relief, you couldn't actually remember leaving her."

"Snow often said how she felt empty, like something important was taken away. She only realized what it was until after the curse was broken, even though she admits that emptiness went away when Emma first came to town." Charming explained and laughed darkly "In a way, the curse was much worse. True it made her forget, but it also left a huge gaping hole that ate away everyday on our emotions."

"What about Regina? How did it make her feel during the curse you think?" Hook wondered and Charming looked at him and frowned.

"I think that even after her trouble, she felt alone. She had finally beat us, but she was left with nothing. She could not truly make us love her, obey her. She wanted Snow sad and depressed yet she failed because Snow was happy as a teacher."

Hook nodded and then smiled.

"I guess it's good now that she is not evil anymore."

"True, she is no more of a threat and instead an ally. That deserves a cheer"

Together they clanged their beers together and drank back some of the liquid. It was still a difficult taste to put back and Hook preferred his rum over it, but his rum was a gateway to numb him but he hadn't needed except for certain times in Storybrooke.

Except he enjoyed the light buzz the beer gave him.

"If you ever want to ask for Emma's hand, you have my blessing" Charming told his gently and Hook stayed quiet, he enjoyed the thought but then again he wasn't even close to that level with Emma. She was still hesitant around him,

"Thank you mate." Hook replied, it was nice to know he had the guy's blessing.

Emma sat in the passenger seat as Snow drove and she cradled her head, she drank way too much.

"So I forgot to tell you, Hook stayed over with Charming tonight. They were going to have a few beers." Emma looked up, shocked. Was he still going to be there? her mind was spinning even worse.

"Mother, I'm drunk. This isn't fair." Emma whined and Snow laughed.

"I'm sure everyone is tonight, except me." Snow smiled and Emma sighed. "Let's just go in." Snow mumbled when they got to the apartment. Emma nodded, knowing she needed a deep, long sleep.

Except when they walked in, the boys were still chuckling, drunk off the beers and Charming stood up seeing his wife.

"Finally, you girls are home!" He was so loud, Snow let out a laugh before she walked up to him for a kiss and she held his hand.

"Time for bed, Charming" Snow informed and Charming frowned, looking at Hook. "He can just sleep on the couch, if he wants."

"I'm going to go up to my bed" Emma mumbled, her feet staggering beneath her as she headed to her bedroom, she heard the privacy curtain close as she finally got up to her room and she shut the door behind her. She smiled a little seeing Ginger laying, fast asleep on her own dog bed.

She had finally laid down in a pair of her comfiest pajamas when a small knock sounded.

"Who is it?" Emma questioned from her spot.

"Killian, I was wondering if I could come in" Emma sighed, wishing she was sober.

"Sure, I don't see why not" Emma answered and the door creaked in. Hook had a glaze of lust and drunkness in his eyes and Emma tried to ignore the way it turned her on.

"They started having fun, they can't really be quiet" Hook admitted and Emma looked at him, he bent to scratch lightly at Ginger's head but then he went over to sit on Emma's bed.

"He's drunk, and she's pregnant. They were bound to go at it." Emma let out a chuckle and she caught Hook staring at her intently. "What are you thinking about?"

"How beautiful you are." Hook mumbled and Emma bit her lip, that movement made his focus shift and he let out a grumble. "We've been teasing for far too long"

With that said, he was invading her space, his lips on her and her body began to tremble as she gave in to his probing tongue.

"Killian" Emma moaned and he moved to kiss at her jaw. "My parents.." She tried to reason but Hook shook his head.

"No more." Hook growled and his hand touched the side of her thigh. Emma let out a moan, and her legs widened at the light touch.

She agreed that they have been teasing for too long. How did she go without his touches for months? Emma wanted his attentions and her hands went straight to his pants.

"I'm ready." Emma mumbled, she was going to exploded if she didn't get him soon. She needed him. His hook slide her bottoms down and his mouth returned to hers for deep kisses.

He pulled himself out of his pants and Emma looked down, her mouth watering at the site.

Hook was purely man, and his rock hard cock proved this. His drunken actions were just courage given by the liquid he had drank.

The liquor was working through her too as she helped him slip the pants off her and widened her legs. His eyes dropping to look at the blonde curls and the folds sitting among them. Hook reached with his hand to test her and was not surprised to find that she truly was 'ready'. His finger slipping in her with ease and her body responding with every touch. She let out a moan and grinded against his hand before reaching for his cock, reminding him what she truly wanted.

Hook growled, moving to claim her lips and moved to position himself.

It only took her wrapping her legs around his waist to get him to slam home.

"Killian!" Emma gasped, her hand moving to grasp at his shirt. Her core, feeling deliciously stretched and full. Her hips wanted to move but his weight had them pinned. He was breathing heavy and it took him several seconds to build up the willpower to slide out and push back in with a renewed power.

Hook groaned against her lips, as he moved slowly yet constant. He wanted to build it up and Hook loved the gentle whimpers when the naturally curve to his cock, clipped a sensitive spot inside her.

The friction was quickly too much. Emma couldn't focus on the kisses and she looked down, she gasped at the sight of him disappearing inside her, over and over. Hook had his eyes shut tightly as he focused and Emma pushed her hips down on his.

"Harder" She whispered to him and Hook nodded. The next downward push was rougher and the friction caused her walls to shutter. His head grazing the spot in her that cause her to squirm.

Emma clawed at him and could no longer contain the feeling of orgasm.

Her mouth opened up to let out quiet pants and Hook opened his eyes to watched her. He began to thrust into her faster. Sensing his own finish, he wanted to come right alongside her. Emma let out more gasps and her eyes locked on him.

One last thrust and their bodies shattered. Her body convulsed from the orgasm and she couldn't stop moaning his name, her hands gripping him with a bruising force.

He had to bury his face against her neck as his body stilled inside her. He felt the pulses and enjoyed the feeling of her spent under him. Her moans giving out to heavy breathing.

"God damn.. Emma I love you" Hook exclaimed and Emma moved his face up to hers.

"I love you too Killian" Their kiss was softer and Emma closed her eyes into it, feeling exhausted.

Hook moved to peel his shirt off and his pants and rolled off her.

Emma couldn't fight the sleep anymore and drifted off.

**I'm sorry for the long wait! I've been absolutely exhausted from school, and stressed out beyond belief. I take two AP classes and just been loaded down with school work. I'm writing this after a long stressful day and I'm too exhausted. **

**But you guys deserve an update so there it was, I hope you liked and I'm sorry for any grammar errors that happened. **

**I'm going to go sleep now. Thank you for reading, please Review. i do reply to them when I get the time. **


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